A Reminder of What Life is all About...

Another post that I wrote in December and failed to publish.  I have to admit that I am hesitant to publish it now, as it was written at a time where I was really examining a lot of things.  BUT, in the words of my good friend Vince Darius, I'm "keepin' it real", so here it is.  I am happy to report that I came out of my photography break motivated, eager, strong, committed, and renewed.  Sometimes a break is good on multiple levels.  I am looking forward to spring and summer shoots and getting right back in the game.

December 11, 2010:

It has been an incredibly long time since I've blogged. In fact, it's been one year, two months and seven days since I've blogged. It's not for lack of things to say, and certainly not for a lack of images taken (I think I logged well over 30,000 images last year, including two beautiful weddings--one locally and one in Alaska, a new crop of students at MCT's Next Step Prep, a host of theater performances, and some gorgeous portraits). I have to admit that for many reasons this past year has been very difficult. Without boring you with details, the past year has been an intense period of soul-searching, examining my character, personal goal setting, and determining the things that I need to jettison from my life. It has also been one where I have struggled with some health issues that have made me stand up and pay attention.

Whoa. Aren't photography blogs supposed to be uplifting? Why, yes, I suppose they are. But one of the things I like about photography, and the thing that draws me the most, is that photography is real. I'm not a big fan of over-photoshopped images, using stamps and overlays and airbrushing and whatnot. Enhancements are great. Replacements are not. Photography is real, and whether people like it or not, I am pretty darn real, too.

I digress.

For those who know me personally, suffice it to say that this past week has probably been one of the crappiest on record. I have been tested to my core, and I'm not particularly happy about the things my self-examination has again revealed to me. I have been reminded over an over again about a blog post I read years ago by one of my photography idols, Zack Arias (zarias.com). He was a full-time photographer in his first career. He was very driven and very ambitious. As a result he lost everything. He had to sell his camera equipment to make ends meet, and in the end, he lost his family and his marriage. Many years later he was able to begin a second, far more successful photography career. He got remarried. He has a beautiful family. He did it right the second time. He never ceases to remind his followers of his mistakes and cautions us against making the same ones.

I paid attention to that blog post years ago and it is relevant because I am at that place.

Photography hasn't done this to me. I have done this to me. But what I learned from Zack and countless others who have chimed in on his blog is that at some point you have to draw the line and take a giant leap back from it. Regroup. Refocus (pardon the pun). Redesign. ReWhateveryouneedtodo.

This is a very cryptic blog. It isn't meant to be. It's just, well, real. This is how my mind works sometimes. All the time.

The bottom line is this. Once this holiday rush is over I am taking a break. I may blog. I may write. I may take an occasional snapshot, but for the most part I am taking a photography break at least through the month of January, maybe a little bit longer. There are some things I need to fix. Some things that can't be fixed that need to go. And some things that fall into the "can this be fixed?" category that need some careful attention.

I'm not quite sure where this break will take me, but I have faith that it will take me to the place I need to be. My father once told me that no matter what choices I have made in my life, for good or for bad, I have always landed on my feet (once this meant I had a broken foot). I am absolutely convinced this will happen. I appreciate your support in this decision and your patience.