The Bigger Picture

Photographers, like many artists, have moments where they feel tortured. Some of us feel this way more than others. If there is any feedback that my friends (photographers and otherwise) give to me is that I am my own worst critic, my own worst judge, and more often than not, my own worst enemy. I'm not sure if it was turning 40 this year, or if it was something else, but one day recently I woke up and started asking myself if I'd chosen the right path as a photographer--was my decision to pursue this passion something that would be ultimately incredibly rewarding, or would it lead to the demise of every comfort I've worked the past forty years to acquire. It might just be some intense soul-searching. It might be the effect of a very gray and overcast February. It might be the realization that life is what you make of it. Regardless of the reason behind it, the feelings and emotions are quite real.

Then I came across this guest blog entry created in February by Zack Arias. I realized that I was not alone, and judging by the 10,000 + views and comments made on this mini-documentary, Stick with it...it begins like a photography tutorial, but ends on a dramatically different note.

Oh...and the "big changes" I alluded to earlier...I quit my day job this week. Let the new adventures begin!

Big Changes

I cannot believe I haven't posted anything to the blog since March. The past few months seem to have passed in a vacuum. I don't know where the time went!

Madelyn left for her three-week trip to Australia today after months and months and months of fundraising. My normally poised eldest child showed just a smidgen of apprehension as she packed up the last items into her suitcase, but has already sent me an email from LAX indicating that she has a new crew of "besties" (I need to get up on lingo...this is apparently new best friends), was eating spicy Kung Pao Chicken and awaiting a 1030 PST departure to Sydney. It seems like yesterday I was bringing this little preemie baby home, and now she's getting on an airplane with a student ambassador group. Actually, I'm ok with the whole thing. It was a surreal moment, but I didn't feel weepy or apprehensive. I wish I had her kind of guts and courage at her age and I look back at all the years I wasted trying to "find myself" when in fact I was right there all the time.

Bringing some pics from friends and family to ward of any potential homesickness.


Send-off from Thomas always involves some kind of tackling.


Big changes for our little girl. I have a feeling an entirely different person is going to be at the airport when we pick her up. I'm looking forward to hearing about everything and seeing what pictures my budding photographer captures.

On the personal/professional front, I have been really busy (hence the lack of blog posts, but I'm determined to do better this summer). I have photographed some wonderful families, beautiful babies, and gorgeous expectant mothers over the past few months. I also got offered a fantastic opportunity to photograph the Next Step Prep, a performing arts program that was launched this summer in conjunction with the Missoula Children's Theater. I'll be posting here, as well as on a blog site for Next Step (forthcoming), but all I can say initially is WOW.

Today I got to watch not only two amazing instructors but also a group of 26 absoultely amazing, talented high school students who just blew me out of the water. I couldn't believe watching this group of young people, their amazing strength, courage and, at times, vulnerability, and their abilty to support one another...and they just met three days ago. I anticipate a phenomenal summer experience for them...and for me (hooray!).

So many changes are coming up both personally and professionally for me I can't wait to share them with you. But I'm celebrating having the house to myself (Andy took Thomas camping tonight), and I'm going to go to bed early.

Sorry to be so absent, but I'll try to post a lot this summer. So much to share!